Anyway, here's a 4-parter for you all at once. Oooh.
I present.....The Gudsl chronicles.
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Hello My Love, Part 1 of ?
Years ago, my friend Chris Neri and I used to screw around with scammers and people who would write us randomly on IM. It sometimes led to nice long conversations. I don't get very many random people writing anymore, though. My other friend Chris and I tried to keep the scammers that would contact us going for conversations last year but it never went too far. Someone wrote me tonight and, my friends, I believe I have found true love...
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gudsl: How are you
Me: Not bad, do I know you?
gudsl: Not really
gudsl: My name is Teresa
Me: Why did you write me?
gudsl: got your yahoo id on a dating site
Me: hmm, what dating site?
gudsl: blackpoeplemeet
Me: are you black?
gudsl: Yes
gudsl: Are you black ?
Me: No. And I've never heard of that site so I don't know how I'd be listed on it. what else was there about me?
gudsl: My account not working on therte anymore
gudsl: Well, i am looking for relationship on here with someone from USA.
Me: There we go. So you got my name somehow or i stood out to you while your account was active, why is that?
gudsl: Got your address when my account was active
Me: Yes, clearly, but what was it about me while you had it active that drew you to remember my name and contact me?
gudsl: Yes
Me: no, WHAT was it about me that made you do that?
gudsl: Well, i am looking for relationship on here with someone from USA.
Me: There we go. So you got my name somehow or i stood out to you while your account was active, why is that?
gudsl: Got your address when my account was active
Me: Yes, clearly, but what was it about me while you had it active that drew you to remember my name and contact me?
gudsl: Yes
Me: no, WHAT was it about me that made you do that?
gudsl: Dont really know. Let get to know each other and see what happen next
Me: Good enough for me! Tell me about yourself.
gudsl: Ok
gudsl: what would you like to know ?
Me: Anything, just start telling me stuff
gudsl: I am a beautiful Black Queen in search of my beautiful King that can support me.I love life and I thoroughly enjoy having a good time. I like having good conversations with great people. I enjoy quiet nights, rainy days, and snuggling.
Me: Holy shit, me too. Except for the Queen part. Where do you live? Age?
gudsl: I am 28yrs Old
gudsl: How old are you
Me: Just turned 28, how freaky! Where are you from?
gudsl: I am fromGhana
Me: is that where you live now?
gudsl: Yes
Me: I dated a broad fromGhana Togo Ghana
Me: hello???
gudsl: Yes
gudsl: I am here
gudsl: where are you from ?
Me: The USA. Though I love West Africans
gudsl: really
Me: totally
gudsl: have you been here befor ?
Me: No, i always paid for ol' cupcake to come visit me here in the US but I wanted to go there eventually. she had family nearby inBurkina Faso
gudsl: :))=)) funny
Me: I wasn't joking.
gudsl: Is a nice place. i bet you would love it
Me: did i write "haha" at any point?
gudsl: no
Me: Then please don't assume that I was kidding.USA
gudsl: yes
gudsl: why did you asked
Me: Because that's the type of stuff you ask when you're courting one another, duh. What are your thoughts on frilly toothpicks?
gudsl: dont know
Me: Hmm, "I'm for them" would have been a better answer. I suppose all relationships have their ups and downs though. So tell me more about you
Me: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
gudsl: Yes
Me: hi
gudsl: Like walking, while praying and conversing with my mother,stimulates my mind and spirit. Fishing and camping used to give me a chance to clear my head and be one with nature. I enjoy the blues, jazz, r&b, gospel,reggae and a little hip hop.
Me: what do you want in a king?
Me: Good enough for me! Tell me about yourself.
gudsl: Ok
gudsl: what would you like to know ?
Me: Anything, just start telling me stuff
gudsl: I am a beautiful Black Queen in search of my beautiful King that can support me.I love life and I thoroughly enjoy having a good time. I like having good conversations with great people. I enjoy quiet nights, rainy days, and snuggling.
Me: Holy shit, me too. Except for the Queen part. Where do you live? Age?
gudsl: I am 28yrs Old
gudsl: How old are you
Me: Just turned 28, how freaky! Where are you from?
gudsl: I am from
Me: is that where you live now?
gudsl: Yes
Me: I dated a broad from
Me: hello???
gudsl: Yes
gudsl: I am here
gudsl: where are you from ?
Me: The USA. Though I love West Africans
gudsl: really
Me: totally
gudsl: have you been here befor ?
Me: No, i always paid for ol' cupcake to come visit me here in the US but I wanted to go there eventually. she had family nearby in
gudsl: :))=)) funny
Me: I wasn't joking.
gudsl: Is a nice place. i bet you would love it
Me: did i write "haha" at any point?
gudsl: no
Me: Then please don't assume that I was kidding.
gudsl: yes
gudsl: why did you asked
Me: Because that's the type of stuff you ask when you're courting one another, duh. What are your thoughts on frilly toothpicks?
gudsl: dont know
Me: Hmm, "I'm for them" would have been a better answer. I suppose all relationships have their ups and downs though. So tell me more about you
Me: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
gudsl: Yes
Me: hi
gudsl: Like walking, while praying and conversing with my mother,stimulates my mind and spirit. Fishing and camping used to give me a chance to clear my head and be one with nature. I enjoy the blues, jazz, r&b, gospel,reggae and a little hip hop.
Me: what do you want in a king?
gudsl: I will know what I am looking for when GOD places him before me.I pray that he passionate, sensual, healthy, wild and crazy, funny,
Me: Holy shit, that's all totally me.
Me: Wow
gudsl: independent, be able to take care of business be able to have fun. Hopefully he is open minded, non-jealous and secure about himself and the relationship he is in.
Me: Now, I don't work much because my parents left me a lot of money, is that okay?
Me: oh hey, independent, there you go...
Me: I prefer to just live off my bank account and have fun in life rather than go to boring jobs.
Me: Do you love Hanson too?
gudsl: whats is Hanson ?
Me: Holy shit, that's all totally me.
Me: Wow
gudsl: independent, be able to take care of business be able to have fun. Hopefully he is open minded, non-jealous and secure about himself and the relationship he is in.
Me: Now, I don't work much because my parents left me a lot of money, is that okay?
Me: oh hey, independent, there you go...
Me: I prefer to just live off my bank account and have fun in life rather than go to boring jobs.
Me: Do you love Hanson too?
gudsl: whats is Hanson ?
Me: They're a band SILLY PANTS!
Me: of brothers.
gudsl: Oh OK
Me: of brothers.
gudsl: Oh OK
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA, I love that we can teach other new things. I have a killer soup recipe I'll tell you one day when it's rainy and we're bored but don't have Opera tickets.
gudsl: Ok
Me: Do you like to kiss and hold hands?
gudsl: Yes
gudsl: alot
Me: WOWWWWWWWWWIE
gudsl: do you have pictures to share with me
Me: I do but they're on my camera so I have to wait until I can get the cable to transfer them.
gudsl: ok
gudsl: Ok
Me: Do you like to kiss and hold hands?
gudsl: Yes
gudsl: alot
Me: WOWWWWWWWWWIE
gudsl: do you have pictures to share with me
Me: I do but they're on my camera so I have to wait until I can get the cable to transfer them.
gudsl: ok
Me: I'm so glad that you found my name on a site I've never been to, it truly must be a miracle.
gudsl: yeah
gudsl: what is your name if you dont mind me asking
Me: Scott. But my friends call me Boingo.
Me: and you?
Me: I had an Aunt by the name of Gudsl, by the way. We called her Auntie Gud though
gudsl: My name is Teresa
gudsl: Nice to meet you Scott
Me: Ah, my sweet St. Teresa of Avila (well, of Ghana, at least), pleased to meet you. She is my favorite Saint, they must be shining down on us in this moment of Internet Heaven.
Me: i don't think my computer will accept them due to the firewall, do you have it online anywhere?
gudsl: No
Me: darn it to heck, can you upload it anywhere?
gudsl: Let me see
gudsl: Can i add you ?
gudsl: what is your name if you dont mind me asking
Me: Scott. But my friends call me Boingo.
Me: and you?
Me: I had an Aunt by the name of Gudsl, by the way. We called her Auntie Gud though
gudsl: My name is Teresa
gudsl: Nice to meet you Scott
Me: Ah, my sweet St. Teresa of Avila (well, of Ghana, at least), pleased to meet you. She is my favorite Saint, they must be shining down on us in this moment of Internet Heaven.
Me: i don't think my computer will accept them due to the firewall, do you have it online anywhere?
gudsl: No
Me: darn it to heck, can you upload it anywhere?
gudsl: Let me see
gudsl: Can i add you ?
Me: Sure! Hey now, I just found a pic of me from when I was on my dad's show when I was younger. he was a famous TV star, that's how we got so much money. then he had the horrible ceiling fan accident. RIP: Mommy and Dad, but thank you for the inheritance. But anyway, here it is: http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/4879/4879.jpg
gudsl: Ok
Me: ok what?
gudsl: Nice pic
gudsl: Add me
Me: Thank you! You add me, I don't add people on the first conversation. I go all the way on the second one though.
gudsl: what is your e-mail so that i can send you my pictures
Me: My username is the email, all Yahoo is that way.
Me: Don't send me a virus, I'll cry.
gudsl: I will not
Me: Thank you. You do truly care, I believe.
gudsl: give me a min
gudsl: now sending
Me: Do you like me? You don't have to love me or anything (but you can if you want!), but do you at least have a Kindergarten Crush on me?
Me: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
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My sweet African Princess has not yet written me back and she signed off about the time I wrote the crush comment so I don't even know if my love saw it. I've still not received any e-mail from her. I'll keep you all posted. *sniff* I need some ice cream...
gudsl: what is your e-mail so that i can send you my pictures
Me: My username is the email, all Yahoo is that way.
Me: Don't send me a virus, I'll cry.
gudsl: I will not
Me: Thank you. You do truly care, I believe.
gudsl: give me a min
gudsl: now sending
Me: Do you like me? You don't have to love me or anything (but you can if you want!), but do you at least have a Kindergarten Crush on me?
Me: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
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My sweet African Princess has not yet written me back and she signed off about the time I wrote the crush comment so I don't even know if my love saw it. I've still not received any e-mail from her. I'll keep you all posted. *sniff* I need some ice cream...
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Hello My Love, Part 2 of ? (the finale?)
As you read in the last blog, my soon-to-be fiance scammer has been MIA since she and I first started our courtship. Read the previous one first if you've ever wondered what true love sounds like. Behold.
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gudsl: Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying. I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day
me: You remember me? YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
gudsl: hello
me: Wow, hi!
gudsl: DING!
me: um, ding to you too? okay...
me: What are you up to?
(long pause)
me: HELLLLO MY LOVELY????????
gudsl: hey
gudsl: how are you doing
me: I am doing amazingly now that you are on. How are YOU doing?
gudsl: great and thank you for asking
me: No, thank YOU for answering.
gudsl: long time no see, where have you been ?
me: I have been on and off, I had to go to Vietnam for a bit -- there's a new war starting up over there and I wanted to get in the shit before it got too rough.
gudsl: oh
me: It's a bad scene. But I know loads of Kung Fu, so I should be okay.
gudsl: what do you do for a living ?
me: I told you last time, I just live off my parents inheritance since I'm rich now. I just kinda watch DVD's, play ping pong against the wall (it always wins!), and eat cereal.
(long pause)
me: HELLLO?
(long pause)
me: HELLLLLLLLLLO?
gudsl: how old are you again
me: Ah, okay, good, guess I didn't use enough "L's" the first time. I'm the same age as you silly, don't you remember? I'm fearing our lovely first conversation doesn't hold the same place in your heart that it does in mine.
gudsl: not that dear, i have not talk for a while now you know
me: How old are you? Then you'll know how old I am.
gudsl: i am 28yrs. what is your name again. i am teresa
me: See! We're made for each other. I am Scott.
gudsl: ok
gudsl: will not for get this time
me: You never sent me pictures like you said you would.
gudsl: what is your e-mail ?
me: my user name @ yahoo
gudsl: ok
gudsl: give me a min to do that
me: Okay, please stay on and write me more though, pretty please
me: after you send them, i mean
gudsl: ok
me: YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
gudsl: just give me a min tod that ok
me: okely dokely.
me: Guess what song I'm whistling while you're sending them?
gudsl: Ok
gudsl: is sent
gudsl: send me yours
me: http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/4879/4879.jpg
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gudsl: Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying. I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day
me: You remember me? YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
gudsl: hello
me: Wow, hi!
gudsl: DING!
me: um, ding to you too? okay...
me: What are you up to?
(long pause)
me: HELLLLO MY LOVELY????????
gudsl: hey
gudsl: how are you doing
me: I am doing amazingly now that you are on. How are YOU doing?
gudsl: great and thank you for asking
me: No, thank YOU for answering.
gudsl: long time no see, where have you been ?
me: I have been on and off, I had to go to Vietnam for a bit -- there's a new war starting up over there and I wanted to get in the shit before it got too rough.
gudsl: oh
me: It's a bad scene. But I know loads of Kung Fu, so I should be okay.
gudsl: what do you do for a living ?
me: I told you last time, I just live off my parents inheritance since I'm rich now. I just kinda watch DVD's, play ping pong against the wall (it always wins!), and eat cereal.
(long pause)
me: HELLLO?
(long pause)
me: HELLLLLLLLLLO?
gudsl: how old are you again
me: Ah, okay, good, guess I didn't use enough "L's" the first time. I'm the same age as you silly, don't you remember? I'm fearing our lovely first conversation doesn't hold the same place in your heart that it does in mine.
gudsl: not that dear, i have not talk for a while now you know
me: How old are you? Then you'll know how old I am.
gudsl: i am 28yrs. what is your name again. i am teresa
me: See! We're made for each other. I am Scott.
gudsl: ok
gudsl: will not for get this time
me: You never sent me pictures like you said you would.
gudsl: what is your e-mail ?
me: my user name @ yahoo
gudsl: ok
gudsl: give me a min to do that
me: Okay, please stay on and write me more though, pretty please
me: after you send them, i mean
gudsl: ok
me: YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
gudsl: just give me a min tod that ok
me: okely dokely.
me: Guess what song I'm whistling while you're sending them?
gudsl: Ok
gudsl: is sent
gudsl: send me yours
me: http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/4879/4879.jpg
me: Geez, do you remember anything about me? I feel like just some random guy you're picking off the Internet.
gudsl: send it to my mail like i did
me: Um, sure, I guess I can download it FOR YOU. Or you can just, you know, take the two seconds to click the link and hit "save as" on the picture.
me: Hmm, I haven't gotten what you sent.
(long pause)
me: HELLLLLLLLLO?
(long pause)
me: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO? Just tell me how many L's to put and I'll do it.
me: Tell me the truth, are you "messaging" with other dudes? Because if I'm going to use my money to spoil a woman, I want to be her only puppydog.
(long pause)
me: I'm gonna throw up, your silence says it all...
(long pause)
me: "Moooooooooooooon Riiiiiveerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...."
(long pause)
me: "MMMMMMMMMM bop, bop bop mmmmm bop, shubby doo doo something, bop bop oooooooh."
(long pause)
me: If you've died, this is going to be really awkward...
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And so, dear readers, I don't know where this will go. Did the picture that she liked last time suddenly turn her off? Was she kidnapped and reaching for the keyboard to write that she loved me as she was pulled away? After last time, I thought I had lost my love for good but she returned with happy greetings of the morning. What will life throw at me next?
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Hello My Love, Part 3 of ? (And I need your opinion)
So, future guests of my wedding, she has once again written me from West Africa after many weeks of silence. My Spam Queen has even proclaimed her love out of nowhere after two short, odd, scattered conversations! I suppose there will be some more "Hello My Love" entries in the near future after all. Perhaps shortly followed by some "Here Comes Our First Child" entries. If you're not familiar with what the hell is going on, read the other two blog entries with the same title as this one. In the last entry you saw, even though she now loves me, she must have had temporary amnesia because I had to remind her all about me, her future husband. I sent her this picture of "me" twice now:
Next time we speak, I'm going to send her one of these instead and see if she notices.
So which one should I send her?
Notice the dude isn't wearing a hat...his hair is shaved INTO a hat shape.
Here is what she wrote last night and this morning:
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gudsl: When my arms cant reach people who are close to my heart, I always hug them with my prayers. Until you bring me to America and I may do so in person, may God grant you what your heart desires and keep you happy ... Good Night
gudsl: I woke up a few hours ago, but somehow I feel incomplete till I remembered I haven't message you yet. Have a pleasant morning. love you
__________________
Aw, what a sweetiepants. So there you have it folks, true love waits! I wonder how incomplete she felt these last few weeks when she hasn't written at all. I bet some West African renegades are milling about and she has been laying low, afraid of them finding her. But now she risked it all to get those messages to me and I wasn't even there to receive them. Egads! More soon, hopefully with us together writing the next entry...
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Hello my Love, Part 4 of 4.
I don't cheat in relationships but with Gudsl (my African Spammer Queen) and I not having a connection recently, I've sort of been straying in my thoughts and when I got this message out of nowhere earlier, I surprised myself with the thought of carrying on a second Internet relationship at the same time. Please don't say anything to Gudsl. If I know her as well as I think I do from our two conversations, she'll be crushed.
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redneck27524 - hi_i_have_a_smoking_bod_and_am
me - Hi !!!!!
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True_love_in_the_works? I hope it's not a redneck dude, that would be odd. I haven't visited the link (i don't suggest you do either), but I'm already thinking this could be a good match. He/She hasn't replied back yet but I think he/she might be playing hard-to-get.
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The Internet Gods must have heard of my straying because shortly after, Gudsl came online. Behold:
The Internet Gods must have heard of my straying because shortly after, Gudsl came online. Behold:
_________________
gudsl:
gudsl: hello
me: Hi hi hi
me: How the hell are you, sista????
gudsl: doing great
gudsl: you
me: I'm fine, thanks for asking, you DO care about me!
gudsl: yes, i care about you
gudsl: do you
me: Care about me? Of course I do!
me: Tell me what you like most about me. 5 seconds, go!
gudsl: you are open to talk to
me: How would you know, you're never around! Ooh, that was a burn! I'm sorry we fought.
gudsl: that is ok
me: You told me you loved me that last time you wrote me. Is that true? It is because I'm rich or is it because of my heart?
gudsl: you heart
gudsl: how would i know you are richer. i never meet you befor
me: I've told you each time we talked, silly drops! Why do you love my heart?
gudsl: looking for a soulmate in amrica
me: Looking? How about FOUND?
me: And not just in America, WORLDWIDE!
gudsl: yes
gudsl: knew what i am looking for when God place you befor me
me: God's placement, yes, of course. And the bank account balance is the bonus, hell yeah!
gudsl: what bank account
me: My bank account. If you keep pretending you've forgotten, I'll stop believing you're sincere.
gudsl: i bet you talking to the wrong guy
me: Talking to what wrong guy? Whosa whatta?
gudsl: i never asked you asked for your bank account number
me: I know, but we've talked about my parent's leaving me the money and that I don't need a job due to the inheritance. You're not very good at this, are you new to the world of fraud?
gudsl: let me ask you something
me: yes?
gudsl: what is my name ? you dont seems to know who are you talking to. maybe you talking to alot of females on here
me: Have you had any recent surgeries?
gudsl: no
me: Doesn't sound like I'm talking to ANY females then. Plus, girls don't talk to me, they normally look at me funny and/or throw rocks. I only talk to you and we've had a couple of different conversations together, check your history.
gudsl: as far as i can remember, we only talked 2 times and this is the third time.
me: Yes, a "couple" is "two", I'm sorry that I used a vocabulary word. Are you not Teresa?
gudsl: yes, i am teresa
me: So what is the confusion? We've talked a couple (sorry, I mean two) times about my money and you just said I was talking to the wrong guy, which is, um, sorta odd but I'll come back to that in a bit. Wait, is that West African slang that I'm not aware of? Like how "MANkind" can be either a man or a woman? Is the word "guy" really just slang for "hot chick" in Africa?
gudsl: =)) you funny
me: Do you talk to so many people that you can't keep me separate? And you clearly said "I think you're talking to the wrong guy." Please explain yourself so I can stop crying and scratching my arms to bits.
gudsl: the reason for me using the word guy is that .., just be funny trying to make you smile.
me: Yeah, real funny, I'm certainly smiling. Don't you know any fucking knock-knock jokes?
gudsl: what is your e-mail address so that i can send you my picture?
me: I don't want them.
gudsl: I'll sending it again
me: What things do you remember about me?
gudsl: nothing really
me: Am I not cute enough to remember things? Were my suspenders not bright enough?
gudsl: we dont get to talk much
me: then how can you tell me you "love me" so much?
gudsl: you givin me hard time on here darling
me: Why the sudden change? Is it because you messed up and accidentally told me you were a guy? What if I told you I was a woman, then what?
(long pause)
me: Fine, be that way. Redneck27524 will truly love me and HE/SHE has a website. So there.
gudsl: i get intouch with my inner baby and she said i should told you that you are a poppy head. )=)
me: A poppy head? Wow, okay. Did you mean "poopy"?
me: If you're going to be child-like, at least do it correctly.
me: But this was fun, seriously. How old are you really? Where are you from really?
gudsl: i am rootless, i am from everywhere
me: Ah, so very wise of you grasshopper. I had a fortune cookie that once said "Home is where the heart is." Is that kinda the same thing? What do you do for a living?
gudsl: You suffer from libidinous masturbatory sensations you know that. You will be a ugly godforsaken drunk who worships the libelous piece of crap and the portly freak. Bang your head against the wall, you fascist unwanted american who sucks on the dirty can of rotten spam and the arrogant corpse
me: Wow, this took quite a turn.
gudsl: good luck to you
me: Ha, that's my favorite transition ever. "Hey, fascist unwanted American etc, good luck!"
gudsl: bye
me: How come scam artists never stick around for some closure? So rude.
_____________________
So there you have it. The end. Looks like I'm alone once again.
gudsl:
gudsl: hello
me: Hi hi hi
me: How the hell are you, sista????
gudsl: doing great
gudsl: you
me: I'm fine, thanks for asking, you DO care about me!
gudsl: yes, i care about you
gudsl: do you
me: Care about me? Of course I do!
me: Tell me what you like most about me. 5 seconds, go!
gudsl: you are open to talk to
me: How would you know, you're never around! Ooh, that was a burn! I'm sorry we fought.
gudsl: that is ok
me: You told me you loved me that last time you wrote me. Is that true? It is because I'm rich or is it because of my heart?
gudsl: you heart
gudsl: how would i know you are richer. i never meet you befor
me: I've told you each time we talked, silly drops! Why do you love my heart?
gudsl: looking for a soulmate in amrica
me: Looking? How about FOUND?
me: And not just in America, WORLDWIDE!
gudsl: yes
gudsl: knew what i am looking for when God place you befor me
me: God's placement, yes, of course. And the bank account balance is the bonus, hell yeah!
gudsl: what bank account
me: My bank account. If you keep pretending you've forgotten, I'll stop believing you're sincere.
gudsl: i bet you talking to the wrong guy
me: Talking to what wrong guy? Whosa whatta?
gudsl: i never asked you asked for your bank account number
me: I know, but we've talked about my parent's leaving me the money and that I don't need a job due to the inheritance. You're not very good at this, are you new to the world of fraud?
gudsl: let me ask you something
me: yes?
gudsl: what is my name ? you dont seems to know who are you talking to. maybe you talking to alot of females on here
me: Have you had any recent surgeries?
gudsl: no
me: Doesn't sound like I'm talking to ANY females then. Plus, girls don't talk to me, they normally look at me funny and/or throw rocks. I only talk to you and we've had a couple of different conversations together, check your history.
gudsl: as far as i can remember, we only talked 2 times and this is the third time.
me: Yes, a "couple" is "two", I'm sorry that I used a vocabulary word. Are you not Teresa?
gudsl: yes, i am teresa
me: So what is the confusion? We've talked a couple (sorry, I mean two) times about my money and you just said I was talking to the wrong guy, which is, um, sorta odd but I'll come back to that in a bit. Wait, is that West African slang that I'm not aware of? Like how "MANkind" can be either a man or a woman? Is the word "guy" really just slang for "hot chick" in Africa?
gudsl: =)) you funny
me: Do you talk to so many people that you can't keep me separate? And you clearly said "I think you're talking to the wrong guy." Please explain yourself so I can stop crying and scratching my arms to bits.
gudsl: the reason for me using the word guy is that .., just be funny trying to make you smile.
me: Yeah, real funny, I'm certainly smiling. Don't you know any fucking knock-knock jokes?
gudsl: what is your e-mail address so that i can send you my picture?
me: I don't want them.
gudsl: I'll sending it again
me: What things do you remember about me?
gudsl: nothing really
me: Am I not cute enough to remember things? Were my suspenders not bright enough?
gudsl: we dont get to talk much
me: then how can you tell me you "love me" so much?
gudsl: you givin me hard time on here darling
me: Why the sudden change? Is it because you messed up and accidentally told me you were a guy? What if I told you I was a woman, then what?
(long pause)
me: Fine, be that way. Redneck27524 will truly love me and HE/SHE has a website. So there.
gudsl: i get intouch with my inner baby and she said i should told you that you are a poppy head. )=)
me: A poppy head? Wow, okay. Did you mean "poopy"?
me: If you're going to be child-like, at least do it correctly.
me: But this was fun, seriously. How old are you really? Where are you from really?
gudsl: i am rootless, i am from everywhere
me: Ah, so very wise of you grasshopper. I had a fortune cookie that once said "Home is where the heart is." Is that kinda the same thing? What do you do for a living?
gudsl: You suffer from libidinous masturbatory sensations you know that. You will be a ugly godforsaken drunk who worships the libelous piece of crap and the portly freak. Bang your head against the wall, you fascist unwanted american who sucks on the dirty can of rotten spam and the arrogant corpse
me: Wow, this took quite a turn.
gudsl: good luck to you
me: Ha, that's my favorite transition ever. "Hey, fascist unwanted American etc, good luck!"
gudsl: bye
me: How come scam artists never stick around for some closure? So rude.
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So there you have it. The end. Looks like I'm alone once again.
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